"It is better to bend than break"
Amen to that.
For the nine months leading up to Kate's birth and in the months that have followed, I've tried to place a finger on what kind of mom I would be. What style would I adopt, that could be easily summed up in a few words, to perfectly describe my child rearing philosophies? The more research I did the more I determined how I wanted things to go. I started to construct a very precise vision of how I thought Adam and I should raise our daughter and it went something like this: I wanted to be a medicine and intervention free birthing/exclusive breastfeeding/cloth diapering/baby led weaning/kiddo wearing/co-sleeping/attachment parenting practicing mom. Some might call it "crunchy parenting." You know? Like granola...yum :) These were the things I deemed most important to me when it came to bringing this child into the world and by george, these things we would follow to a T! Do you see where I'm going with this?
Honestly, of all the items I've listed above, I've only practiced some of them some of the time. I won't get into details of why each one was either tossed by the wayside or abandoned in the midst of our busy nearly impossible schedule, but they all had one thing in common - they did not work for my family. End of story. I am disappointed that some of these parenting philosophies didn't work for me. I really am. When some aspect of parenting goes south, I typically flip flop between feeling like a total failure and just not giving a crap anymore...seriously, just prop Kate in front of the TV with some Cheetos and a Diet RC, I'm out! I don't do that though, and really it's not like me to want to toss in the towel and just give up on something, but slowly I'm learning that when raising a child, there are somethings you can't force.
It's amazing what life can show when you look for the positive in things that have turned sour, it's like the old saying goes, "it is better to bend than break."
I've discovered along this crazy parenthood journey that bending is
survival. Bending is sanity. Bending is growing and learning to be a
better, calmer person. And frankly? Breaking isn't an option.
So, when this "crunchy mama" wannabe is adamant that co-sleeping is the way to go, no questions asked and my girl throws me for a loop by sleeping soundly through the night, night after night, in her own crib? Bend. When my husband and I have completely drag down, knock out civil conversations about the pros and cons of baby led weaning and I can tell he is scared and uncomfortable with a major (to us at least) decision about our child's health and safety? Bend. When you're child is not gaining any weight after weeks and weeks and weeks of exclusively breastfeeding? Bend (and cry and pout for a bit, too).
And in the end, this is exactly what I wish for Kate to learn from us. How to live easy, and accept change gracefully, and to be happy with your circumstances, even when they aren't in your control. These are the important things I want to share with my child, more than any of the things I wished for above.
Oh, andplusalso? We NAILED the baby wearing...so there's that :)
