I realized today that it's been just over 100 days our since our loss. It's not that I want to sweep the pain of the miscarriage under the rug per say, but it's time to move onward and upward. I've moved on.
The storm has passed and we've steered our boat to calmer waters. Through it all I've seen how tough I can be, how strong my resolve is and learned some extremely important life lessons. Mainly - how to be happy in a life where you really have zero control over what happens next; how to be happy in a life that doesn't shape up the way you envisioned it; how to be happy (like truly to your gut happy) after absolutely terrible things happen to you. I know people have discovered these things before I have, but there is no way I could know this kind of happiness unless I had gone through the miscarriage. It's very liberating, knowing that you can survive and even thrive regardless of bad circumstances.
I'm really quiet excited for what 2014 has in store for me. I don't really do serious resolutions. I like to get a jump on things I want to change rather than wait around for an arbitrary date on the calendar to roll around. However, there are a few things I want to accomplish this year.
1) I want to be become as passionate about saving money as I am about spending it.
I really love to shop and it really doesn't matter what I'm shopping for. I get the a kick out of picking out milk, lipstick, clothes, anything...I'm an equal opportunity purchaser. However, I love the feeling of tucking away money for our future even more. I've never been irresponsible with money, but this year I want to be an A+ saver. I think I'm going to try to do a couple of "no spend" months where we only purchase the absolute necessities and make due without any extras.
2) I want to continue to incorporate enriching and engaging activities with Kate.
When Kate was born I did so much reading and research regarding early infant milestone, nursing, sleeping, everything really...but, once she hit 1 year I really stopped exploring ways to better my parenting skills. Now, don't get me wrong, my kid is breathing with little to no psychological or physical damage, so I'm pretty much nailing this parenting business, but I'm always interested to read about ways we could be better, or honestly, ways to make our lives easier :) So far, I've been very interested in the Montessori teaching method since Adam's family has used it in the past.
3) Be more organized
Oh man, doesn't everyone say this one every year? Probably because so many of us realize the huge benefits to putting a little effort to keeping our lives organized. We are on the run constantly - like only home 2 of the last 9(!!) weekends. Plus, we are out of our house close to 12 hours a day. It doesn't leave a ton of time to get myself together everyday (it's also my secret to having a very clean house - just never be there). I've started to realize that being unorganized adds way more stress than if I just put up a little effort in the times I'm actually home. This just means actually laying out Kate's clothes every night, staying on top of the laundry and committing to meal planning every Sunday (don't tell me to use a slow cooker unless you know a food that can survive 12+ hours of heat and won't turn to mush). I'm very confindent that I can pull this one of since I've had glimmers of being very organized here and there.
4) ENJOY LIFE!
This is the most fun and most important goal of them all, don't you think? It all goes by so fast. I just want to soak up every moment and stayed focused on being present and happy.
This is the most fun and most important goal of them all, don't you think? It all goes by so fast. I just want to soak up every moment and stayed focused on being present and happy.
2 comments:
Very good goals. I see your mamma quite a bit in there. She's a great example!
I know what you mean about finding happiness in the middle of really sad times. It's a hard lesson, but sometimes (sometimes!) I feel lucky to have learned it! Love this post!
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